Letting Go

Sedona Michael CloudWhat I like about the spiritual teacher/mentor I chose is that he moves me beyond the words of personal growth books to a deeper place of responsibility. His wisdom takes me energetically to a place of understanding how my thoughts and choices impact every moment of my day.

I remember one of my first private sessions with James after I had resigned from the corporate arena of craziness.  Thirty years of striving for (in retrospect) unattainable perfection as the first African American Fashion Director of several large companies.

My corporate journey was over, and quite frankly, I didn’t know who I was beyond the corporate title. 

A spiritual teacher compassionately and patiently guides us through our pain and shows us what the other side of needless suffering looks like.

 As I sat in front of James, he asked me what I was feeling. Strangely, I had no idea what I was feeling – not a clue!  In that moment I was incapable of accessing my feelings and I didn’t know how to express myself through the multiple layers of my trapped emotions. I was frightened, feeling lost and angry. 

 The one feeling I did recognize was that of victimization. I was also keenly unconscious of how the energy of my secret emotions was having an impact on me personally as well as the people in my life.  I’ve since  learned that unhealed wounds can become as toxic to our surroundings as the smog that lingers over LA and Phoenix.  Healing our wounds becomes a gift to humanity.

 This is where the deep work began and continues – getting in touch with my feelings, learning how to feel the pain of my emotions, seeing when I am running away through a multitude of distractions, and doing the best I can in the moment to “let go” of the feelings. 

 Just last week I was moving through a day of difficult and very old emotions and my teacher reminded me to “look at the bigger picture.’’

I was feeling judgmental and petty over a competitive work situation.   I was frustrated and sad because I had allowed my thoughts to be hijacked by an old paradigm.

 I took a walk in nature to quiet my “mind chatter” and with each step my intention was to “let go”. I asked Spirit to assist me in seeing the “bigger picture” and reach for a higher level of thought.  It appeared, and I felt so much lighter in my body and consciousness.

 My time in nature helped with dismantling another level of illusion and unnecessary suffering.

The heaviness had disappeared and my joy was back! 

I feel James’ recent narrative on The Gift of Pain is so profound because of the Truth of the message:

 “Listen to your pain for it may be telling you that it’s time to accept who you are, and to love who you are in spite of all those self-judgments and “put downs.” Most important, it is risking being who you are. This is the other side of pain, but the journey “is through it”, not around it, over it, or denying it.”

 If you are troubled, take a long and peaceful walk in nature today.  Experiencing the Oneness of nature is the gift that allows us to “let go” of our smallness and embrace our universal greatness.



  1. Hi Phyllis – I read your blog every time it comes through – it is always very good! This one story spoke to me loud and clear! Perhaps it is because I am going through a similar experience of loosing something I have been working toward for so long and have been quite passionate about. Recently, a new ‘boss’ came on and and everything has changed. My job, mostly who I am and the gifts I have used in this job have been praised and used to the fullest; now it has become competitive and extremely petty over the last couple months. I knew, that with this new boss – I would be slowly phased out by her actions and the way she talked to me. I knew deep inside it was an insecurity with herself, so I just carried on. The sad thing is that this is a religious organization – for which I am a member. Mulling over this for the last couple months – and subsequently the other day when I got yet another phone call with yet something else … i just knew inside that it was time for me to move on. I just came to this realization yesterday – so reading this today was so timely and very affirming in my feelings! I have no idea what will come next – but, I do know that I have to BE who I am …. so thank you for this! my best to you – aneesah [friend of Katya and of Idyllwild!]

  2. Thank you Phyllis for this text. Yes, I have found that each and every emotion is important, that they must be felt and the information they bring with them acknowledged, understood and given a place within ourselves. I also share the love for “nature” and its ability to provide an environment that calms and at the same time enriches the internal chatter.
    thank you,

    • Paulina,

      Thank you for your comments about the importance of acknowledging our emotions and sharing your love of nature.

      We truly appreciate your support for The Peacock Solution and your gift of writing. We hope to publish another article from you soon!



  3. That is beautifully said, Phyllis. Thank you for sharing. It does feel scary sometimes to expose our inner journey!

    I recently had the opportunity to examine some strong emotions. I became conscious that I was trembling all over while reading breast cancer brochures, trembling like a dog when he realizes he is going to the vet. I thought, “You must be really scared to be shaking like this…how interesting.” Then I thought, “Well, what is it you are so afraid of? Do you think you are going to die?” I had been diagnosed with breast cancer, hence the brochures. I sat with that question for a moment, observed my reaction, and concluded that, no, I really didn’t think I’d die. I searched for another thought that could freak me out and came up with, “Do you think the mastectomy will hurt?” I sat with that one and thought, probably not…I was going to get the really good drugs. So, what is it? “Do you think you will look like Frankenstein with stitches across my chest?” Bingo, that one brought tears to my eyes. Then I remembered that my surgeon is top notch and I’ll probably look better after this whole thing is over. That made the tears recede. I couldn’t come up with any more scary thoughts.

    I’d like to say that I never felt scared again, but that wouldn’t be true. But I was determined to not let the fear rule, which it would if I left it in the shadow. We had more conversations, fear and me. I don’t expect that to ever end. Fear can sneak right back in the back door if you aren’t vigilant, something I don’t intend to let happen on my watch:)

    • Melinda,

      I want to acknowledge your courage! Moving through our fear is monumental.
      This is why I am eternally grateful to James for his love and support during many fearful times, always guiding me with compassion.

      I am so grateful to know that you are progressing well and we will see you in the desert in a few months!



  4. I so appreciate your words, Phyllis. Like a light within the darkness…what a journey you’ve been on and it is so very courageous and a model for all of us to witness your story and your authenticity. Your website, your words, your stories are all very precious for women finding their way in this mystery called life!! I am so impressed your story of confronting fear, seeking help from James, and doing the hard work to build a whole new inspiring and authentic life! AND then helping the rest of the world learn from your journey! Precious words!!

    • Elaine,

      Thank you for your gracious words.

      Our spiritual journey is quite an ever evolving experience my friend.
      Remembering the words of a very wise man….”This is not the journey for the faint of heart” -:)

      May peace be with you.


  5. Oh, Phyllis, this is so beautiful! Like you, indeed.
    I loved it and hope to read more incredible expressions from you. Great writing! What great things you must have done to attract James and then to fully embrace. Such courage and wisdom. Not everyone does.
    I am as always, impressed with you.
    Much, much Love,

    • Dear Gurudevi,

      Thank you for your kind words!

      You have witnessed my spiritual journey with James over the years and you know how much richer my life has been because of his compassionate guidance and teaching. Hopefully my articles will inspire others to enrich their lives with the gift of a Spiritual Teacher.

      With love and gratitude,


  6. Good Morning Phyllis – I have been reading things on your website after meeting you at last night’s event. I am so grateful to find The Peacock Solution – I felt a deep connection with you when I met you. Now, after reading some blogs and responses from other women, I am feeling a deep connection with them all.

    Thank you very much for developing a site like this! I, too, am retired and am willing to assist in the development of this site (movement) in any way I can.

    Blessings to you! (I’m from Hawaii so I also want to say “with much aloha”.


    • Hello Carol,
      I am happy that we met and you were able to attend the first film in the “Conscious Aging series!
      It is heartwarming to know that you feel connected to The Peacock Solution and also to many of our writers and their stories. Thank you for your willingness to assist with developing our online community. I am looking forward to hearing your ideas!
      In the meantime, I hope to see you on Tuesday for the next film in the series, “A Small Section of the World”

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