From A Distance
by Brenda Recore
For me, these last six to eight weeks have felt like a combination of immense sadness, an increased yearning for self growth and an overwhelming sense of the “surreal”.The sadness arises from the obvious toll that has been taken on people’s lives, jobs, sense of security, and peace of mind. During the first week of intense media coverage I awakened in the middle of the night short of breath, sweating, sore throat - in short, exhibiting all the virus symptoms. I diligently prayed to calm my thought, but my anxiety was so intense I needed to awaken my husband, James. As he hugged me and quietly spoke, I realized I was having a panic attack and literally “out-picturing humanity’s current fears” in physical form.Soon, with James support my breathing normalized, my chest lightened up, and the sore throat disappeared. It was a huge lesson for me - I can be empathetic and filled with compassion for what is occurring within our world, but I do not need to personally swim in the collective pools of fear.For those who know me well, striving for self-awareness is a constant, but this time of “shelter-in-place” has given me such a sense of stillness ( free from distractions and commitments) that I’ve been able to unearth and bring to light more unconscious patterns of behavior/ conditioning which no longer serve my highest good. This reflective practice continues as well as the sweet peace that accompanies deeper awareness.The “otherworldly” aspect I have experienced arises when walking the neighborhood or local markets observing everyone in masks, gloves, closed business signs and long lines. Energetic waves of disbelief flood through me that our world in a flash has turned itself upside down. Almost 80% of the day, I feel like I’m an observer viewing all of this from afar.I remember Bette Miller’s song “From a Distance”and my daily prayer is that my observations will soon align with her lyrics:From a distance there is harmony And it echoes through the land It’s the voice of hope It’s the voice of peace It’s the voice of every man From a distance we all have enough And no one is in need And there are no guns, no bombs, and no disease No hungry mouths to feed.”