Gifts from Pain

Recently a friend shared with me that he felt he had been “in hiding” most of his life, and now he was choosing to hide no longer. Just the fact he had admitted to hiding all his life meant that now he no longer “was hiding." The truth does indeed set one free. In life, the more one continues to hide, the more fear accumulates. There was a lot of pain in what my friend had revealed  to me – suffering, as well.

 Many might be familiar with the words “ pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice.”  In meditation we might want to ask – why am I choosing to suffer? What is this suffering doing for me? What are the pay-offs? When we choose suffering we are choosing not to live, not to be responsible, not to come out of hiding.

Pain on the other hand is part of our human experience. More often than not, we try to keep it separate from our life. We try to distance ourselves from it as if it were a separate part of us. As crazy as it may sound pain (as with most of our life) is divinely guided. It is a messenger for us to pay attention, to be “present-centered” and neutral so that we can see and feel the lessons trying to come through that bring us closer to our loving and Divine self. Pain when accepted instead of rejected can become a profoundly compassionate and cathartic catalyst for growth. But by continually “hiding” pain, all of life slowly begins to be hidden. Then often the choice to suffer becomes a daily mantra and we then become a victim not only to “pain”, but to “suffering” as well. We eventually use both as shields from people, places, and things.

As I shared with my friend, listen to your pain for it may be telling you that it's time to accept who you are, and to love who you are in spite of all those self-judgments and “put downs.” Most important, is risking being who you are. This is the other side of pain, but the journey “is through it”, not around it, over it, or denying it. We come from love. Pain can be a vehicle back to love.

James