In Memory of Catherine
It all began just two years ago when Catherine (Cat) attended a Woman's Group which I facilitate in the desert with her close friend. I remember vividly the first time I saw her – I thought to myself, this woman is a force! There was an energy about her that was very self-assured, passionate, and fiercely independent.
Within weeks she became an integral part of our group allowing us to witness her kindness, sensitivity, and determined commitment to self-growth. For myself personally, the bond she and I forged was on a deep spiritual level. Ironically, I realized just the other day that I had no idea where Cat attended school, what her earlier history had been, who the loves of her life were or the countries she may have visited. For whatever reason, the details of our past human “stories” weren't relevant to the nature of our spiritual connection. We recognized in one another a similarity of beliefs, and a trust immediately developed where we both felt we could say anything and it wouldn't be judged, but received in a safe space – all for the purpose of growth.
Last spring Cat asked if I could be a spiritual and mental support for her during a major cancer surgery and the subsequent medical process. I remember vividly telling her from the onset that this wasn't merely about her and the disease – there was a much bigger picture at work. One in which she was opening a door, and many would be observing and watching her example (some whom she may know – others whom she may never know). She responded immediately that innately that felt correct, and that is why she wished to consciously evolve through the whole experience no matter what the physical outcome.
I stand as a witness to the work she did emotionally and spiritually. I was in awe of how she approached every seeming setback, every disappointment, every pain. Cat exhibited grace, courage and an indomitable spirit. That force I had observed in her the first day we met, I saw in full display as she accepted her fears as human but refused to stay “stuck” in them, the manner in which she appreciated and absorbed the love and care around her, how she listened to her intuition and the empowerment that followed during this long physical process.
The last group meeting Catherine attended was in November. She was radiant, full of energy, and shared willingly all she had been learning. Everyone present was riveted while she spoke. She emanated such an energy of wisdom and peace. I did not hesitate to remind her of the conversation we had shared last spring about how this journey was not “just about her”. She was giving all of us a road map as to how to meet adversity with grace, dignity, and courage. She was demonstrating to so many what it looks like not to be a victim, not to be a martyr but to be an indomitable Woman.....a Woman who experienced pain but rose above it, felt fear but learned how to move through it, had disappointments but didn't descend into discouragement instead found an inner voice she didn't realize existed, and courageously changed the direction of her medical process to align with what Cat truly felt was right for her.
I remember a call that came from Cat soon after her first surgery. She wanted my opinion on a vision she had experienced during the operation. Catherine had seen a beautiful group of angelic beings surrounding her and her Mother who at 88 years old was standing vigil at the hospital. She wanted to know what I thought – was this vision real?
Having had a near death experience years ago I was able from my viewpoint to validate her vision – I had no doubt there was an entourage of angelic support that was with her not just that day, but always. We spoke often of her prayers, dreams, meditations, and Oneness with her Father-Mother God. Cat said many times she had no fear of dying for she had lived a full and wonderful life.
Several weeks ago we had a lengthy breakfast where she shared with me all her new plans for an out-of-state wellness treatment, the immense research she had done, all she was learning. We gratefully spoke of our own unique bond, had a few tears and laughed openly and often. It was a huge shock for me when I received the phone call last Friday about her airlift home and hospice care. Immediately with heavy heart I alerted everyone in our Woman's Group and asked that all of us send deep love and prayer to Cat and to Jo (her Mom), the family and her close dear friends. The messages that have come forth from these women all testify to the profound impact Cat has had on all of us. I quote from one participant “I am comforted to know that should I be unfortunate enough to face even less adversity than Cat did, I can remember her incredible strength, dignity, and positive spirit, and be at peace – whatever the outcome. What a gift. I will be forever grateful, Cat, thank you.”
Late that same evening as I fell asleep in prayer, sometime before morning, I was awakened by what appeared to be a presence in the corner of the bedroom. I have a remembrance of acknowledging this presence but fell quickly back to sleep. Upon awakening I intuitively knew that Cat had sent me an angel - perhaps one of the angelic entourage she had inquired about last spring. I had no doubt it was her way of sending me a message that she had passed from this world to the next.
Thank you my beloved Cat for initiating such a trusting spiritual connection with me that the heavens actually briefly parted for a moment, and your spiritual farewell was seen and received.
You are and ever will be our miracle.
Love you, Brenda